Welcome to the Jackals Den.

hey guys, i'm back, been not posting for a while,....kinda thought that lj wasn't for me, or i was too busy, so on, so forth. ...life's shit right now, i'm back at my mom's house. me and Jess are still going out which is good, but i'm working at winn-dick-me at the deli, and they're living up to their name,... i'm putting in my app at Regions Bank right when i'm through with this post. ....so chica's how joo doin'?

... i'm not proud of myself.

i quit chili's... again. had a panic attack before work...the cause? i was thinking about how work will dick me over that night. and i made a decision, a job will not cost me my health.

so i'm out job hunting. again.
thought about electrician work... pay's nice. get weekends off. but i don't know if i could take the strain. and i feel fucking pathetic because i think that. i'm 20, 6'2", 300lbs. for fucking christ's sake, i should be able to deal with an electrician job..... but when i get stressed, i freak. ... last time it got bad, i went to the hospital... so, no electrician job. Because i promised my jess-sama that i'd never scare her like I did that night again, ever.

so i'm applying around town here. kings buffet, sakura's, and a couple of other places i can't remember.

i want to learn some more styles of cooking, chinese/japanese is looking like it'll be the first style.

...and i haven't been sleeping well lately.... nightmares, not being able to go to sleep till 7 in the morning, shit like that.... it's starting to get better, but the nightmares are getting worse.

good news? me and jess are still together and she's helping keep me sane, which is nice.

yeah, i'm a fucking tard sometimes.

Miss solar, lots.... trying to find the urge to play nvn though is not happening yet, i will however go and monster for febuary. blah. no longer work for walmart, i'm back over at chili's cooking. more/hour and bene's so i'm not worried. had another panic attack, though nowhere near as bad as the last one. haven't told Jess yet, she's worried/scared for my life enough as it is.

feeling the urge to gnaw on something.

oh,... which is the better fighter, the one with over 150 body calling 6's with a 2hander, or the one calling 6's with a shortsword and 2 slays? i'm curious to see what the solar peeps think.

Alright, don't freak guys.

I went to the ER this morning,.... some of ya'll know i've been having anxiety attacks for a couple months....what i've been hiding is that they never really dropped off like I said they did, i just learned how to hide them better,...well, this one i couldn't hide, doc gave me a perscription for an anti-anxiety med, but i can't afford to go get it filled. found out my insurance has NOT kicked in yet,...which means i'm going to be paying a hellaciously large bill at the hospital, yummy.

so, yeah, i'm fine now.

just gotta keep my heart rate down.

well... yeah.

yall hit me back.

wow.... its been a while since i've been online, and I never even noticed... *shrugs* OH I heard some folk were trying to get in touch with me.... 228-604-0071 simple. i'm working tomorrow 11-8,9-6,off,9-6,off and a bucketfull of 2-1030's after that. yar.

For those who haven't found out yet.
I'm dating Jessica...
known by some as Chandra...
and yes, we're happy.
if you have bad things to say, please keep them to yourself.
because remember, just because a person has bad personality traits doesn't make them a bad person, just a good person who can be a pain in the ass...... and i know ALL my friends fall under that category, the reason they are still my friends is because I A) Care alot about them and B) ignore and work past them when they are being tards....but because they're being tards does NOT exclude them from my friendship. it just shows that no matter how different we are from eachother,.... we're all the same on the inside.

btw, throwing up so hard that you break bloodvessels in your face at work is BAD.

still not as bad as the last time i did it though, when i broke vessels in both eyes....morbid fear of going blind anyone?

anyway. LURVES JOO ALL. and call me sometime fuckers. i usually have thursdays off.... but thursday night is game night, so i'm free all mornin and afternoon till...5pm. check. CALL. and stuff,...cuz i miss you guys....and girls... and squirrells.

I got the job at walmart, call them tomorrow to find out when orientation is.

bad news?

my ONLY pair of contacts kicked the dirt today, we're trying to ressucitate.
If I can't do that, i'm FUCKED for 2-3 weeks WITH a NEW job. Fucking lovely.
However, i found out walkmart is more than willing to work with employee's on scheduling, and it'll only be for the first couple weeks. hopefully, IF i can NOT ressucitate the contacts, this won't be a big problem, .... Oh, the reason i'm fucked? well... Rose, and the fact I can't drive without visual aid. period, no hope. ..... if they're flezible on schedules though for the first couple weeks, i can ride with Jeff and work his shift if they don't mind much. yar.


fuxxors.

oh, went to the hammond ren fair again today.

fucn, but i'm sick, so it was fun for everyone BUT me.

Lovely

Oh, and Krissy is the shrimp scampi GODDESS.

and yes, i'm typing wihtout contacts.

sue me.







laters peeps.

....Oh Darn, 7.70 an hour, FULL TIME (=35+hrs/wk) Walmart Garden Center in D'Iberville....with Benefits. From day 1. Vision, Dental, Medical,...which means when I get the cash, i pay 15 bucks to go to the doctor for a full check up, find out whats all wrong with the internals, and get new glasses. Yay. Lots.

Andy, call me fool!

And stuff.

.... i'm officially dating again. Wow. I honestly was beginning to think that I would never be able to say that again. Her name's Rose, and i'm taking this extremely ...well, not slow, but lightly if you get my meaning, no deep emotions for now,... the reason? ... her son, Nick. amazing how intimidating a 3 year old can be.

I no longer work at Chili's, i've had it with the managers.
Don't really want to get into details about it, it just frustrates me to no end every time i think about it. I do, however, have an interveiw tomorrow at walmart... FULLTIME hours, not part time, they were explicit on that, in the garden center....shouldn't be too bad. Hopefully.

CHIMAERA

You are a chimaera. A
chimaera is a monster with three heads, usually
a lion, a goat, and a serpent. The chimaera is
a very interesting and mysterious creature. The
serpent is often interpreted as a symbol of
evil and deceit. On the other hand lions
signify courage and honor, and goats could
symbolize sustenance and prosperity. Overall
though the chimaera is the ultimate symbol of
mystery and the supernatural.


Which mythical creature resides in your soul? (11 Results + Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

"may your life be interesting" - Best curse i've ever heard.

Jess is driving me bonkers, and i'm so fucking over it.

Work sucks, going to apply at wal-mart, ruby tuesdays, or the local 903, not sure which.

can't wait till thanksgiving, it sounds like fun...or hell, either way, i'll prolly be laughing my ass off most of the time.

Solar sucked. alot. I'm starting to get fed up with staff, and i'm TIRED of playing a caster, so i'm going to try and find someone (Hopefully Randy) to take over the Armorsmith's guild, then i'm going to retire NVN for a while, just monster, work tavern and hopefully plot bitch some, work enough to let Staff give me a respend and turn him into something else, prolly rogue, really haven't played a rogue and I want to do traps and fight, and backstabs just force me to fight smarter. No clue on race, maybe lizard-wilder, maybe dwarf... shadow dwarf sounds good....maybe dunno..... anyway, yeah, it sucks. Note: Confinist sucks against plot when you DON'T have an 8 column.

anyway, i'll see ya'll latar, love, peace, and dooms for everyone.